Friday, September 12, 2008

Ducks

Ducks and eleven-year-old boys have this in common. They both hate to go to bed on time. Chickens are relatively easy. When they arrive in the white van in their little cardboard boxes you keep them in the henhouse for a couple of days. It registers that this is their home. When evening comes they begin to get a little spooked and look nervously to the right and the left. Then one of them wanders in and then another. Finally the final chicken realizes she's all alone and goes 'squawk' and runs in quickly.

Ducks are another matter. We've built a nice little ramp for the duck house but do the ducks go in at night - even with a plate of food inside? Do they hell! We've been chasing indignant ducks every night this week. One hopes they'll get the idea eventually.



Thursday, September 11, 2008

There are worries that the new Large Hadron Collider thingy buried under the French-Swiss border will generate tiny black holes which might somehow manage to exist on their own, grow in size and suck the planet earth inside out before going on to swallow the solar system,

etc etc.

Other less worried sorts have pointed out that the sorts of particle collisions being generated by this large gizmo occur naturally when gamma rays enter our atmosphere and so that the only difference here is that these collisions will be measurable and therefore useful for understanding the conditions of the universe several seconds after the big bang.

I dunno. It's all too much for me. Too many details.

The machine was turned on yesterday and particles are now whipping around the long circumference of the machine. At some point in the next few weeks a lot of clever people will begin aiming particles at each other and getting them to collide.

It's promising to be a busy few weeks here in Penicuik. I'm not looking forward to everything which needs to be done. It would be just my luck to have the world end after my upcoming Vestry meetings and not before.

Our sister in Christ over at Get out of Jail Free has a link to the following website where you can have the fundamental question answered without getting too bogged down in the details.

Tuesday, September 02, 2008

Son House singing 'John the Revelator'


Fruit and what it means.....

Two articles this morning on fruit (and more). Boris Johnson in the Telegraph and George Monbiot in the Guardian.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Jesus is the Way
......and not merely the Answer


I think I had a T-shirt once which proclaimed 'Jesus is the answer' - t'was back in the 70s.

Such statements could not help but provoke the response:

"Doesn't it depend what the question is?"


Tim Chesterton from Edmonton has a good piece of prose bits of which I shall inadvertently nick for a sermon.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

I am the proud (step) father of an eleven year old boy who struggled, on occasion, within the all-female environment of his local primary school and who does, from time to time, present an excess of attitude and a lack of desire to clean his room.

I was thoroughly chuffed to read an article in this morning's Times by Alice Thomson. Well done!

Things you can't plan for!

From the Telegraph

"A Ryanair jet was forced to make an emergency landing after a jar of mushroom soup leaked from an overhead locker on to a passenger, causing an allergic reaction"




Wednesday, August 27, 2008

New additions to the back garden!


In the person of three Aylsbury ducks purchased from a farm near Peebles. These, I am instructed by my wife and stepson, are never to become duck stock or confit de canard. They exist for pleasure and companionship. They have their own little house and a largish 40 litre basin which is sufficient for this breed. Their names are Poppy, Rosie and Peekotang. Don't ask!

Tuesday, August 26, 2008

The Ukulele Orchestra of Great Britain
Flying off the Handel


An aging cleric reminisces

It was a difficult funeral. Shirley had taken me out for a cup of coffee after early Mass and mentioned that she was in poor health and needed to put her affairs in order. She had never written a Will and knew that she needed one. Well sir, if she didn’t up and die on us within the week - before she'd had time to arrange any of these things. Her grown children gathered to make the arrangements.

And the little old man Shirley was still officially married to but who no one had seen for twenty years – he arrived in town too and moved into Shirley’s flat. He sold her things, took the art off the walls and drove it down to a dealer, found the key to the safety deposit box and claimed the contents of that as well.

The children had told me this would happen. There was precious little they could do to prevent it. A number of items, of purely sentimental value, were simply disposed of. Which hurt. Which seemed almost like spite. When the old man showed up at the funeral or at least at the graveside, people were pretty subdued. They shifted their weight from foot to foot. They didn’t know what to say around him.

After I’d finished the words of committal and Shirley’s coffin was lowered into the ground, the old renegade husband broke the silence.

“She was a good wife” he said.

It was the wrong thing to say. Bill the funeral director and I caught this sudden movement out of the corner of our eyes as the youngest daughter – a pretty little blonde thing - launched herself across two or three relations in the direction of the old man. We stepped between them Bill and I did. I was young and Bill had good reflexes. Like many funeral directors, Bill is a solemn fellow – very prompt and very correct. But he admitted later that he’d delayed intervening just long enough for the daughter to land one good right hook.

“It was the least I could do”, said Bill, with a twinkle in his eye.

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Rick Warren is no Billy Graham

Notwithstanding the Economist's recent headline, no fat man in a hawaiian shirt can be the new Billy Graham.

Which puts me out of the picture as well but I have no such pretensions.

Did you ever see the interview which Woody Allen did with Billy Graham? I've put it here before but it's worth repeating. I clearly comes to us from a more respectful age.



part two of the interview

Wednesday, August 20, 2008


I've just ordered a couple of fair trade clergy shirts. My every-day shirts are getting transluscent and greeny-black so I'm overdue.

What gives with these young English clergy tromping around in grubby blue jeans, tho? I wear my grubby blue jeans too when I'm with people I know really well but they're generally worn with the requisite Hawaiian shirt.

Folks would have a fit if I showed up somewhere with my top bits housed in a clergy shirt and my bottom bits looking like the Marlboro Man. Somebody here is not comfortable looking like a priest. It's more about him than it is about anybody else. That's why we had curacies in the old day. You got all this ambivalent bullshit dealt with. The head teacher at the local High School wouldn't let me in the door to do an assembly dressed like this and he'd be right. Jeez!

Sunday, August 17, 2008



When the mighty Norwegian Royal Guard with their fearful feathered bowler hats needed a mascot they chose a penguin. Only a Scottish Penguin would do. Sir Nils Olaf: the world's most decorated penguin.

Saturday, August 16, 2008

Bathtime in Clerkenwell



One of the stranger things I've seen for a while. Think of it as Badger Badger, meets Wallace and Gromit meets "V" for Vendetta. Muchas Gracias to Fr Denman from Edmonton for the reference.

The Peebles Agricultural Show


The Peebles Agricultural Show took place today during which the rain miraculously ceased for a few hours. We've got a parish outing tomorrow and we're hoping the interlude lasts until then.




Friday, August 15, 2008

The first album I ever owned was by a group called The Collectors (whose later incarnation under the name Chilliwack was a bit better known). I can't remember how I came to own this record album - it seems to me that somebody was moving house and gave it to me. The second album I owned was a little more sophisticated - Herman's Hermits.

Anyway - back to The Collectors - there's this girl called Lydia who wears purple and lives in a steeple. The most pressing thing for the songwriter(s) would appear to be to have words at the end of each line that rhyme. Little else matters.


An article by the Georgian president appeared in today's Guardian.

My favourite line from the last paragraph:

I have staked my country's fate on the west's rhetoric about democracy and liberty.



Wednesday, August 13, 2008



A fresh spirit of militancy is rising up even in peaceful corners of the world. This is the Ginger Heartland after all. Mr Spongecake and Mr Cherry Tart, along with their families and their gods are not welcome anywhere in the oven.



Reuters
August 12, 2008 at 5:04 AM EDT

TOKYO — Japanese police have arrested a 20-year-old man who attacked and robbed two people after they stared at his Winnie-the-Pooh costume, officials said on Tuesday.

Masayuki Ishikawa was hanging out on a Tokyo street corner after midnight last month while wearing the cuddly costume, accompanied by two friends dressed as a mouse and a panther, when he took offence at being stared at, police said.......

.......Mr. Ishikawa and his friends beat up the two victims and stole $160 from them, the spokesman said, adding the group had apparently donned the unusual garb because they had run out of clean clothes.

Hmmm. I remember the whole phenomenon of 'my cleanest dirty shirt' back in college days. I don't believe I was ever reduced to this though.

Tuesday, August 12, 2008


Dmitri Orlov on the Georgian crisis. He was once a student of Abkhaz language and culture (I wonder if he's available for dinner parties - it certainly beats an after supper game of Twister) and by his his own admission his take on the present situation is influenced by an earlier keen interest in one party to the present troubles. His parallels with Kosovo make things seem a simple matter of alliances - who's bloc one supports.

Things are probably even simpler than that.

Yards of stuff here I didn't know, though, about the ethnic makeup of the region.

Thanks to Sam Norton for the ref.